Allowing life to happen just as it is!

It’s been a strange week for me. It’s strange being able to look back and see how far I’ve come. To see how I’ve broken patterns that felt permanent at one point in my life. Living life in the way we do, when we are not aware, or present, has a lot of restrictions. Some maybe obvious, such as restrictions due to health in whichever form, may it be the food we eat or the things we aren’t allowed to do or rather that we think we can’t or shouldn’t do anymore. Some other form of restrictions that may not be so obvious are the ones that we have put on ourselves with our beliefs of how some things should be a certain way or how it shouldn’t.

From a very young age, we are taught right and wrong, good and bad, and how we should perceive things. These values that are instilled may differ from country to country, from culture to culture, and religion to religion. I’m not necessarily saying this is a bad thing to bring awareness and to teach children, and help guide them to learn things. But it is a problem if we hold these values as facts and view the world from a lens of black and white. This is when we as adults are not able to be open to a contrasting opinion, or be open to a world view that is different to ours. This is why we have wars going on or any other debates that end up not in the most humane manner. Because somewhere along the line, the beliefs we hold became more important, and being right became more important than simply being human and kind.

If not to that extent, even day to day things we do habitually, how often are we aware or mindful as to why we even do them? It could be from the moment you wake up, having your morning coffee to how you like your eggs to the work you do, or how you respond to your friends, even on a text or in person, or simply saying good morning to someone. How often do you actually pay attention and do these things that we do daily and do them with awareness or do you do them merely out of habit?

When having a conversation, if we hear something we don’t like or we don’t agree on, do we even notice when our bodies and mind move into a defensive state instantly in that moment. The moment we get defensive, our bodies and mind start working from a place of fear. This is why then it’s easier to find ourselves feeling a bit frustrated and maybe even progress the conversation into an argument or simply turn it not to be a pleasant conversation anymore. Our mind gets clouded and we stop listening actively. We listen to answer. While the other person is talking we are not present anymore, we hear them but we are forming what to say next as opposed to actually listening. Our minds are in the future, trying to gather information from the past that’ll help form our response. But while we do that, we completely miss the present moment where the other person is talking in real time. When we are not actively listening we are only hearing what we want to hear or expect to hear. Not the whole story. We aren’t giving it enough attention to be present and process the information for what it is, just as it is.

When we are defensive and working from a place of fear, our ego mind is taking over, we are trying to control the situation and the outcome because our ego, the conscious mind does not like uncertainty or to be in the unknown. But on the flip side, it is where the magic happens. When you are open to uncertainty and the unknown you are allowing life to happen just as it is. Not how you think it should be or think you want it to be. But just as is. You are allowing things to come through that you could not have envisioned and you are able to view things for what they are simply as they are. When we do not have expectations and associate a certain moment or an event with good or bad, we are able to experience it presently with no connotation of good and bad but just fully enjoy the moment.

When I started unlearning the habits I’ve created consciously or unconsciously, not perceiving it to be good and bad, my whole life changed. Having sun allergies or being told I’m allergic to the sun rather, instilled in me a fear of sunlight that eventually became a subconscious fear. So even if I do see a bit of sunlight, I’ve trained my body to look for shade and if I spend even five minutes in the sun I’d find my body manifesting physical symptoms on my skin. The moment I let go of this fear, now when I see sunlight I feel grateful for the vitamin D I’m receiving and for the beauty of what it is. I’m not shadowed with a cloud of fear anymore. If I find myself being triggered by certain learnt habits, I simply take a few minutes to be present with it and maybe ground myself by focusing on the breath which brings me to the present moment and I don’t allow my body to go in to a stress state as I’m letting it know that everything is okay and I’m calm, so it keeps functioning smoothly.

I hope you take time today, to simply allow yourself to bring awareness in to what you do. See how it feels in your body. Notice if you feel excited or drained when doing a particular task. You’ll know for yourself what you actually enjoy doing and what you are doing out of habit!