Fear of Uncertainty!

Let’s take a moment to focus on the things in our life that we might be taking for granted sometimes. Like the fact that we have a roof over our head, a bed to sleep in, there’s food on the table, good health, and the people in our lives. I’m not saying we always take these things for granted, but sometimes we can get so caught up in the problems we face, allow it to cloud our minds, and be blind to our blessings.

We have conditioned ourselves to consciously or unconsciously (mostly unconsciously), to look at how bad things could get when something happens or when we are doing something new. Whether we look at the worst case scenario, or the best case scenario, remember that neither of them is true. We can think of a future possibility, lean in to the feeling of it, and eventually manifest it if we believe enough on this projected future possibility. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing if we are doing it consciously and with intention, but then again, we are still trying to control the outcome.

Whenever there is need for control, it comes from a place of fear. Fear of uncertainty. We have been taught since we are kids to try to control our outcomes, but doing so have only set us up to live life in fear/stress. When we let go of control, we are in a vulnerable place. Vulnerability is hard for a lot of us because we are resistant to letting go. To be vulnerable means to let go and allow whatever happens to happen. I know this can be scary, but for a moment if you can think to yourself, do you have control over anything that happens in your life? May it be in a few days or in the next few seconds? The answer is we don't. We have an illusion of control, we may have things planned and scheduled for each hour of our day, but in the grand scheme of things we have no idea what’ll actually happen. We could get sick, meet with an accident, or be living in a pandemic!

The simple fact that we are trying to have control in our life when in reality it’s just not something we’ll be able to attain, is why we are in a constant battle with life. Trying to get everything in order in the way we perceive it to be the most sensible eventually leads us to live in anxiety. Over the years we have somehow taught ourselves to think that everything has to be a certain way. If it doesn’t unfold in the way we’ve learnt it should, we become uneasy and our urge to want to control, kicks in, and we’ll spend all our energy trying to regain control (which isn't possible, we can only gain an illusive sense of control if at all) and be quite frustrated, which eventually turns in to a problem that stresses us and leaves us unhappy.

Imagine if only when each circumstance is perfect (perfect in whichever the way we have learnt it to be) and unfolds in the exact way you need it to, if only then you can finally let go, feel at peace, and be happy? We can then be happy and feel at peace only at a very few countable number of times where everything is in perfect order. We are limiting and depriving ourselves from tapping in to the ever present peace and happiness which is available to us at any given time. We've made being happy and peaceful dependant on our external reality. Even if we do get this peace of mind and joy from the external outcomes in life, you’ll notice it’s temporary. Just like when we reach a certain goal, we’ll be happy for a day or two or for awhile but then you’re going to want to set a higher goal and go back to being stressed or not exactly happy till you finally reach the next goal, and the cycle continues where you're always going to want and need more. It’s just a never ending process.

We didn't come to this world with the need to control, or to be fearful of uncertainty. So these are all learnt habits and behaviours. The good thing about them being learnt is that we can always unlearn them!

How do we do this?

Accept that we have no control over our lives. Let go of the resistance to uncertainty. Yes you can schedule your day and have a plan for the next month, but if things don’t go as planned, you don’t have to be stressed. Be open to what’s happening now in real time. Be present as the situation unfolds, and be aware of the thoughts your mind is going to narrate for you. Your thoughts can’t run you if you are present with them and you can see them for what they are. You don’t have to believe your thoughts to be true as you know they’re coming from a place of fear. So be kind to yourself and your thoughts. 😇💚

As much as we can measure our losses when things don’t go the way we planned, remember that we also have no idea if it could be a blessing in disguise! To be happy and feel at peace each day, it’s all about getting yourself to a place where you are okay with everything that life brings you in the exact way it does, and not in the way you think it should. Be open and welcoming to all possibilities that life brings you and let life surprise you!

”I believe that everything that happens in life, the good and the bad, happens to me for good.”- Mihira Wickramarachchi

When you can be grateful for each moment of your life, the good and the bad, you stop being a victim of circumstances and you become free! You might not see the good in a bad situation in the moment, but for all you know, down the line it could be what turns your life around! 🤗💚