Spiralling in your mind!

I can’t explain why I feel the way I do. I can try but I don’t think it’ll get me anywhere. I may just end up confusing you more. I communicate poorly when my mind’s scattered. I am unaware of my emotions most of the time that I feel put on the spot when someone inquires. Simply asking me how I am sometimes is enough to make me shut down and go speechless. Oh trust me I know this isn’t healthy. Allowing my mind to control me and my life, I’m aware of the toll it’s taking on me. But then why can’t I get out? How do I quiet the mind? The more and more I want it to shut up the more anxious and frustrated I feel. It is like I’m spiralling down in my mind almost as if being strongly pulled to be absorbed into a black hole.

That was not the best anagram I could’ve come up with but hey, I got to work with what I’ve got. I’m sorry if this is incorporating negative energy in to you, through these words that I’m writing or saying in your mind really. Isn’t it crazy how we are in two different realities? I am writing this in real time right now but by the time you’re reading this, it’s your reality where you’re reading this but actually having the voice in your mind narrate it for you. It’s like you have your own private voice over app in your brain. So isn’t the mind going on and on really a good thing after all?

This is where it gets tricky. Growing up, we believe the words and thoughts we have. We are taught to take it at face value. We glorify them, give it significance maybe a little bit more than we really should? But if you think back to it, how many moments in your life did you feel at peace when your mind was going all over the place? Creating many different stories in your mind may it be happy or sad stories, were they ever true or were they merely a concept growing in your mind that you believed to be your reality? But is it really your reality? It’s a projection of what you think could be your reality. Why are we anxious? Anxiety occurs when we let our mind take over. When we let the thoughts create realities that could/could not happen and we hang on to them believing them to be true.

I take a deep breath, I feel the oxygen enter into my lungs and I slowly exhale, allowing the toxins to release out of my body. This small act simply allows me to feel a bit relaxed. So I repeat it and focus on my breath. The moment I do this, I’m bringing my awareness in to the present moment. This simply changes my reality. Because finally I’m experiencing the real reality, not what my mind is making it up to be. The more I keep doing this, the more relaxed I feel and the body follows. I feel my shoulders unclench.

So why don’t I do this more often? Well if I do this continuously for longer than the few seconds it requires for me to calm down in the moment, it is technically meditation. Meditation is a chapter that I will write another time. The moment you are able to observe your thoughts, realising that the thoughts and you are two separate entities, is when you are able to be free of the mind taking over you. You are able to allow thoughts to pass through you without being tangled up in them. Thoughts are not bad at all when you are able to be conscious of them. It is bad when you are unconscious of them and follow them allowing it to be true. The trick is being the master of your mind as opposed to being the slave of your mind. In the next article I will go further into describing the voice in our minds. For now, I’ll let you ponder on this.